It was in the year 2019 that our last Vraja-mandala parikrama took place. Who would have known that time, that for two years we won’t be able to do this yearly pilgrimage?

When I was sitting and chanting during the lockdown, at times some beautiful memories of being on Vraja-mandala parikrama came in my mind and gave me inspiration. That time there was no knowledge if we can ever go to Vrndavana again. In this situation the awareness arose intensely how valuable and precious these impressions are of doing parikrama.

When one visits the different places the parikrama experience may be somewhat external without being so much aware what all this pilgrimage is doing on a deeper level. This is very often perceived after the parikrama, the tremendous purifying and transforming effect.

Drg-drsya-vicara, we can deliberate that we are not seeing the holy dhama with our material eyes but Sri Krsna has an eye on us, Srimati Radharani knows her devotees who for one month took up different types of austerities in order to complete this pilgrimage.

She is the predominating deity of this holy month of Kartika and Her blessings we are seeking.

So, it was the first Vraja-mandala parikrama after the lockdown and Srila Gurudeva had planned to take us to all the 12 forest of Vraja-mandala.

When you walk through the streets and this special mixture of aromas of spices, incense, cow dung, rose and jasmine lies in the air, then it is for sure, you have arrived in Vrndavana. Mantras are chanted here and there, bells are ringing, the rikshaw wala’s ask their way by saying: Radhe Radhe! I am seeing a young man in the street sitting next to a beautiful cow and what is he doing? He is massaging the cow’s legs – how wonderful! It directly transports one to the pages of Srimad Bhagavatam. In Vrndavana Krsna Himself massages the legs of His beloved cows.

Vrajati-gacchati iti vrajah. Vraja is the place, where everyone is moving. The cowherd boys run to Krsna’s house to wake Him up so that they can go to the forest. Srimati Radharani walks from Yavat to Nandagaon to cook for Sri Krsna. The gopis are busy moving around in their kitchens churning fresh butter…

And this Vrndavana is a ghosa – a busy village, where the cowherd people live and where it is always noisy…

Srila Gurudeva said: What does it mean that everything in Vraja is like a desire tree? It means that everything in Vrndavana is saturated with seva-vrtti, with the mood to serve.

When Akrura took Krsna away from Vrndavana all the trees were crying, the grass became dry, all the birds were crying, which shows that they are all deeply attached to the lotusfeet of Sri Krsna. If they cannot serve Him life has no meaning.

Lord Brahma wants to take birth in Vraja even as a stone and Srila Raghunatha das Gosvami prays to every blade of grass and insect in Vrndavana. If only a blade of grass in Vrndavana is so powerful, then kim-uta, how much more powerful is the love of the inhabitants of Vrndavana.

Srimati Kunti Devi got a glimpse of Sri Krsnas sweetness and in her prayer, she says, that this little boy Sri Krsna in Vrndavana is really afraid of His mother. He does not pretend to be afraid – He is actually afraid. And that is beyond the comprehension of any devotee outside of Vraja, who’s love still has a tinge of aisvarya-jnana.

The Supreme all-pervading Lord from whom all existence manifests in Vrndavana He becomes bewildered. This sweet little boy wears a belt with tiny bells around His waist and every time He walks He hears some jingling but He cannot understand from where the sound is coming. He sees His own reflection in a stone pillar and thinks it to be another boy. What kind of dimension is this Vrndavana?

Right at the beginning of this Kartika month Srila Gurudeva gave us beautiful verses of Srimad-Bhagavatam which describe the glories of Sri Vrndavana-dham.

Narada Muni told to Dhruva Maharaja to go to the bank of the Yamuna in Madhuvan because being there one will come closer to the Lord, who always lies there.

tat tata gaccha bhadram te

yamunayas tatam suci

punyam madhuvanam yatra

sannidhyam nityada hareh

SB 4.8.42

«My dear boy, I therefore wish all good fortune for you. You should go to the bank of the Yamunā, where there is a virtuous forest named Madhuvana, and there be purified. Just by going there, one draws nearer to the Supreme Personality of Godhead, who always lives there.»

The ladies of Mathura having had some association with Vraja-vasis got a glimpse of the glories of Sri Vrndavana-dhama and said:

punya bata vraja-bhuvo yad ayam nr-linga

gudhah purana-puruso vana-citra-malyah

gah palayan saha-balah kvanayams ca venum

vikridayancati giritra-ramarcitanghrihp

SB 10.44.13

«How pious are the tracts of land in Vraja, for there the primeval Personality of Godhead, disguising Himself with human traits, wanders about, enacting His many pastimes! Adorned with wonderfully variegated forest garlands, He whose feet are worshiped by Lord Śiva and goddess Ramā vibrates His flute as He tends the cows in the company of Balarāma.»

There were different types of disturbances in Gokul by various demons and therefore the cowherd community decided to move from Gokul to Vrndavana. When Krsna and Balarama came there, they were enjoying the beauty of Vrndavana.

vrndavanam govardhanam

yamuna-pulinani ca

viksyasid uttama priti

rama-madhavayor nrpa

SB 10.11.36

«O King Pariksit, when Rama and Krsna saw Vrndavana, Govardhana and the banks of the river Yamuna, They both enjoyed great pleasure.»

When Uddhava came from Mathura to Vrndavana Nanda Baba feeling separation from His darling son remembered how He enjoyed His Vrndavana.

saric-chaila-vanoddesā

gavo venu-rava ime

sankarsana-sahayena

krsnenacaritah prabho

SB 10.47.49

«Dear Uddhava Prabhu, when Krsna was here in the company of Sankarsana, He enjoyed all these rivers, hills, forests, cows and flute sounds.»

Sri Krsna always resides in Vrndavana, that is confirmed in this verse. Mathura here refers to Vrndavana.

rajadhani tatah sabhut

sarva-yadava-bhubhujam

mathura bhagavan yatra

nityam sannihito harih

SB 10.1.28

«Since that time, the city of Mathura had been the capital of all the kings of the Yadu dynasty. The city and district of Mathura are very intimately connected with Krsna, for Lord Krsna lives there eternally.»

Srila Gurudeva explained: When the heart of a sadhaka becomes completely pure, when he visits a pastime place his heart becomes tadatmika (one) with that place and he actually enters the pastime.

For the first days of parikrama Krsna had sent rainy days, which is quite unusual for this time of the year. We could just quickly manage in the morning to walk down to Keshi ghat from Ananda-dham ashram and do our sankalpa. Shortly after it started to rain again heavily. Srila Gurudeva was joking with Lord Indra: “Dear Indra, you remember? Last time when you sent heavy rain to Vrndavana it did not turn out so well for you!”

Like in the past years we also attended the beautiful Yamuna-arati, which is always a spectacular event, specially also for devotees who come to Vrndavana for the first time.

Until the weather forecast became better we stayed at the ashram and began to listen to the wonderful explanations of Sri Acyuta Lal Bhatta Gosvami on Srila Rupa Gosvamis drama, Sri Vidagda Madhava and in the evening Srila Gurudeva nourished us by speaking the glories of Sri Vrndavana-dham and in what mood to perform parikrama. He cited Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati Thakura Prabhupada, who said that one should not be distracted by the beauty of the landscape while performing parikrama but rather observe every activity of the pure Vaisnavas, while they are performing parikrama.

In the prayer to the six Gosvamis of Vrndavana (Sri Sad-Gosvamyastakam) it is described how the six Gosvamis would wander throughout Vrndavana absorbed in feelings of separation from Sri Sri Radha-Krsna, searching for Them everywhere, at Govardhan, at the bank of the Yamuna river…

To be able to look at the example of a pure devotee is essential in one’s spiritual life. During Kartika many great Vaisnavas and acaryas appeared in this world and also disappeared. Like this we had many opportunities to hear about their devotion and take it as a guiding star of what is the ideal behaviour and service attitude.

Sheltered under a clear blue sky now we could set out by boat to Bealvan, the place, where Laksmidevi is still performing austerities to obtain entrance to the rasa dance. This first place we visited has a very important teaching. Only by being in anugatya, under the shelter of a pure Vaisnava, who follows in the line of Srila Rupa Gosvami can one attain entrance to the highest and at the same time most confidential dimension of the spiritual realm. The rasa-mandala, the place where Sri Krsna enjoys pastimes with His topmost devotees, the gopis of Vrndavana, who were capable of leaving everything behind. All attachments to family, society and even they did not care about their own reputation. It is not possible for Laksmidevi to give up Her husband and getting married to another man. She could not follow the path of the gopis and therefore was not allowed to participate in the rasa-lila. This pastime shows the sublime position of the parakiya-bhava.

Right in the beginning of the parikrama Srila Gurudeva decided to perform a special sickness pastime. We had just started, wanting to go and visit so many places but providence kept him in bed with fever. This was a special blessing to all devotees to take up responsibility by speaking hari-katha and leading kirtans.

We remember that in the first parikramas with Srila Gurudeva, he was doing everything himself, playing the mrdanga, singing kirtans, speaking all hari-katha and now about 10 years later we went on parikrama without him and devotees tried their very best to be worthy representatives.

When usually Srila Gurudeva is the one who is always dancing the most in kirtana, inspiring everyone to dance, now he was sitting in the chair watching us all dancing and sometimes he closed his eyes and became deeply absorbed - he was looking so beautiful and divine in this moment.

We were fortunate, that Sripad Bhagavat Maharaja was also residing some time at Ananda-dham ashram. Like this we could hear from him, especially on Srila A. C. Bhaktivedanta Svami Maharaja’s disappearance day. Since Maharaja was personally present during the moment of Srila Prabhupada’s departure pastime he could narrate very beautiful insights of what all happened that time like the ecstatic symptoms Srila Prabhupada manifested, how param-gurudeva, Srila Bhaktivedanta Narayana Gosvami Maharaja, showed him, how Srila Prabhupada was in a dancing position.

Maharaja also told, that whatever was emanating from Srila Prabhupada’s divine body had a sublime fragrance and not like how it happens to old people in this world. He could experience how Srila Prabhupada’s body was completely transcendental.

Maharaja had taken with him the bed sheet on which Srila Prabhupada was laying on his last day and also had with him Srila Prabhupada’s slippers. We were all blessed by the touch of these transcendental paraphernalia on our head. What a good fortune we all had!

Since this year on the Govardhan puja date was an eclipse the festivities were post-ponded to a later date. According to Sri Acyuta Lal Bhatta Gosvami the bhoga is not fit to be used as it becomes contaminated due to the influence of the eclipse. Therefore, he was celebrating the Govardhan puja on the 2nd November and we followed accordingly.

Beautiful colourful baskets with many different types of offerings for Giriraja were prepared. Sweet kirtan accompanied Giriraja’s bathing in milk, yoghurt, honey, etc. Before He received a nice oil massage. And after bathing He was decorated most beautifully with a stylish turban and shining jewellery. He looked satisfied, happily smiling.

We can only pray: “Oh Giriraja, may I one day have this attitude of yours, to serve in all ways.”

Just the days before we circumambulated this best servant of Sri Hari, hari dasa varya. Since we set out for the parikrama after the morning class it was not so hot anymore and very pleasant to do this pilgrimage. Giriraja Maharaja presented himself most beautifully as we were walking while the sun was setting and on the top of Govardhan beautiful peacocks were seen.

Every stone, tree and cave at Govardhan are witnesses of Sri Krsna’s pastimes. This is why the 6 Gosvamis used to sleep under another tree every night because each tree would tell them about another pastime of Sri Sri Radha-Krsna.

At all costs one should not perform the devotional activities in a mechanical way but always with intention, understanding what one is doing. This means samyak-rupena anugamana, to full-heartedly follow. Srila Gurudeva gave us this very important reminder.

Following in the footsteps of the guru-varga we discussed the prayer of Sri Satyavrata rishi, Sri Damodarastakam during this month of Kartika. Different devotees were explaining a verse and Srila Gurudeva added up deeper points and visions.

He gave a very nice explanation on verse number three - two meanings of tadiyesita jnesu. Tadiya means yours, of Bhagavan, Sri Krsna. Tadiya – isita, your power of control. Those who know your power of controlling, Krsna is announcing to them: bhaktair jitatvam, I am only controlled by bhakti. That is the first meaning and the second meaning is: tadiya refers to tadiya vastu, the pure devotees. Only those who know the glories of your pure devotees, to them the sweetness of Vrndavana is revealed.

Sri Acutya Lal Bhatta Gosvami took us on a journey of the amazing poetry of Srila Rupa Gosvami where one can get an idea about how the Supreme Lord relishes His love affairs. But being still bound by bodily identification and thus having material conceptions one can actually not understand this Vidagda Madhava. Nevertheless, it seems that Srila Gurudeva wanted us to get a glimpse into this realm, so that by his mercy we may develop some genuine greed to really one day hanker to serve the divine couple in their confidential lila. The love between Radha and Krsna is never expressed openly and by this becomes much more relishable. By describing the beauty of nature i.e., They glorify each other and tell about Their love indirectly with similes.

The priya-narma sakhas and the sakhis play an important role to bring Radha and Krsna together.

We learned that there are four ways to make a beautiful arch in the kunja: with flowers, with leaves, with pearls or with flags.

In act one of the drama we heard about the power of Sri Krsna’s flute. When the four kumaras, who are fully self-controlled yogis, hear Sri Krsna’s flute then they become disturbed. In heaven as well as in hell persons become astonished about the sound of Krsna’s flute and even God Himself in the form of Ananta Deva starts to feel dizzy.

In Bhandirvan the cowherd boys can walk for miles and miles along the bhandir trees and their hero Sri Krsna has saved them from the forest fire. Here also Sri Krsna was defeated in a wrestling competition. He felt unconscious by Srimati Radharani’s sidelong glance… - and Her sakhis were cheering: Radhe Radhe Radhe Jaya Jaya Jaya Sri Radhe!

There in Bhandirvan is also another Vamsivat and nearby are sadhus living in simple huts in the forest and we could visit one of them.

Srimati Radharani cries a lake of tears because She was upset when She saw Sri Krsna dancing in rasa-lila with so many other gopis. She actually wanted to have a nice group dance but because the other gopis became proud of their good fortune it was not possible and Radharani became upset. The deep mysteries of the sulky mood, one manifestation of pure love was discussed profoundly at Maan Sarovar.

If Krsna would not always behave in an unfavourable way then He would not have to break Radharani’s maan again and again but these things are also not in His control – there is only one doer in Vrndavana and that is prema – pure love.

Sri Krsna reciprocates with each and every devotee’s love and that creates many waves in their hearts so that sometimes it overflows.

Srila Gurudeva explained that the highest freedom is to be bound by prema to the Supreme Lord and accepting the fact, that this is one’s true position.

The characteristic of this prema is that it is a natural, family like relationship which is endowed with excessive feelings of possessiveness for the object of love. Atyanta-pragara-mammata-yukta, laukik-sat-bandhu-vat-sambandha.

Towards the end of Kartika Srila Gurudeva started to speak on Brahmara-gita. It is not easy to comprehend the feelings of Srimati Radharani in this high stage of divine madness. Now she finds nothing good in Sri Krsna, everything He does and has done is to be criticized.

While a conditioned soul is trying to work to improve her character to not criticize anyone, not even by mind. In Brahmara-gita Srimati Radharani speaks the worst criticism of Sri Krsna and His messenger, the bumble bee, and this kind of criticism is considered to be a prayer, a glorification, vyajastuti.

In this series of lectures as a wonderful conclusion comes out that even though Radharani is abusing Krsna in all ways she still cannot stop talking about him, which establishes the glories of hari-katha. Hari-katha is the life and soul of a surrendered devotee, they cannot life without it.

And in order to pacify the separation feelings of the gopis Sri Uddhavaji took them to different places in Vrndavana and they spoke about what all pastimes took place.

Srila Gurudeva said, this was actually the first Vraja-mandala parikrama – how wonderful!

After one month of hearing every day highest level of hari-katha one receives a lot of material for reflection and contemplation. This hari-katha makes one having to move out of one’s comfort zone, means it removes wrong material conceptions and one is forced to again adjust the vision.

Sikhi Mahiti Prabhu staged a very beautiful drama showing Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu when He arrived in Vrndavana on the last day of Kartika. And on this very day the drama was performed. When Mahaprabhu fainted in ecstasy, the pastimes which He saw in His samadhi were displayed on the stage, like the sweet plays of the cowherd boys, Krsna having to carry Sridama on His shoulders because He lost in the wrestling, Jatila Devi always in a mood to control and spy on Srimati Radharani. And Radharani’s maan when Krsna did not show up for the meeting.

Devotees were blessed with diksha and harinama initiation on the last day of Kartika and also Srila Gurudeva installed deities.

After the traditional fire sacrifice was performed we visited the puspa samadhi of Sri Fakir Mohan Prabhu and it was very inspiring to hear about his glorious life of dedicated devotion to Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu and Srila Bhaktivinoda Thakura.

Feeling truly blessed that by Srila Gurudevas mercy I had the good fortune to meet this very humble and authentic sadhu.

There we also had darshan of Srila Bhaktivinoda Thakura’s Sri Sri Radha-Madhava and were allowed to fan them – how breath taking!

Many persons travel to Vrndavana and the experience can be totally different. Srila Gurudeva one’s told that “You will not find Krsna in Loi Bazar!” And even though Sri Krsna is present everywhere and in everything so He must also be in Loi Bazar, we got the message. The visit to Vrndavana is not just to complete the shopping tour, eat nicely at MVT, meet friends and have a good time. But who really wants to deeply know this Vrndavana-dham?

We hear from Sri Guru and the Vaisnavas about Sri Vrndavana-dham, we read from the scriptures about Vrndavana-dham and ultimately this Vrndavana-dham being non-different from Sri Krsna if it feels like it may reveal to us. Even the vastest learning or expert explanations or even much hearing cannot suffice – it is only Sri Krsna’s sweet independent will.

nayam atma pravacanena labhyo

na medhaya na bahuna srutena

yam evaisa vrnute tena labhyas

tasyaisa atma vivrnute tanum svam

Katha Upanisad (1.2.23)

“The Supreme Lord is not obtained by expert explanations, by vast intelligence, nor even by much hearing. He is obtained only by one whom He Himself chooses. To such a person He manifests His own form.”

If He wants He will come out from His hiding place and show His beauty, His sweetness, His softness – His divine realm - and then one will become mad!

Thank you very much dear Srila Gurudeva for taking us on Vraja-mandala parikrama every year! And thank you dear Gurumata for always caring for all the practical aspects that facilitate and make this pilgrimage wonderful.

Sri Vraja-mandala parikrama 2022 ki jaya!

Vrndavana Vilasini dasi